My turn:
"It is with a heavy heart that I offer up for sale the finest vehicle I have ever driven. My beauty is a 1997 Lincoln Mark VIII. I offer her for the very reasonable price of $2000, or best offer. I truly do not wish to part with her, but after much soul searching I have decided that the economics say "sell" even though my heart says "keep". You see, I am a student and primarily drive her from my home in Chicago to college in Peoria, thus virtually all of the miles I put on her are highway miles. She has always been a joy to drive and I have religiously replaced whatever components needed replacing. This includes but is not limited to, upper and lower control arms, new radiator, new brake pads and rotors, rear springs, new battery, and new alternator. There is now evidence that the driver's side catalytic convertor may be reaching the end of its lifespan. This really is the only thing that needs attention at this time. Other than that one issue, she is in excellent condition. I choose to part with her now because economically it just makes more sense for me to drive a smaller vehicle to and from school that is a bit easier on the gas. I have obtained a vehicle that fits this need, although it pales by comparison to her in terms of luxury, power, ride, and handling.
I purchased her from a gentleman in Peoria who literally shed tears when he reluctantly sold her to me. At that time she had 172,000 miles on the odometer. Driving back and forth to school I have increased that mileage to the current 198,000. The previous owner assured me that when she was his girl, he drove her mostly on the highway for his business.
If you would like her to be yours please contact me. My phone number is 773-331-8075. My name is DJ. Her name is Christine."