Funny Political Quotes Free-for-all

"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions—you can't—we're out of sanctions."—George Bush - Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004
 
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
 
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
 
"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

(Yeah! Damned freedom loving Iraqis!)
 
"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—George Bush - Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

(Ahh...so we're *not* free...that explains it)
 
"[W]e've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."—George Bush - Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

Hrmm... I wonder who they could be... Gosh...
 
"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

Oh...so THAT's why he hasn't got a clue!
 
"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."—George Bush - Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

(most of the rest of us wonder and spend a lot of time thinking about it though)
 
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003
 
"We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our entrance into Iraq."—George Bush - Santa Clara, Calif., May 2, 2003

(hundreds of sites to plant evidence...and none found)
 
"I know there's a lot of young ladies who are growing up wondering whether or not they can be champs. And they see the championship teams from USC and University of Portland here, girls who worked hard to get to where they are, and they're wondering about the example they're setting. What is life choices about?"—George Bush - Washington, D.C., Feb. 24, 2003

(going the extra mile to once again prove to minorities and women that *ANYONE* can become President of the USA)
 
"I think the American people—I hope the American–I don't think, let me—I hope the American people trust me."—George Bush - Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

Aww...so sad to dash a simple person's hopes...
 
"I, William Jefferson Clinton, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States"

Bill Clinton, January 20, 1993, 1997
 
" Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. " - John Galbraith
 
"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."—George Bush - Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

And we all wonder why alternative fuels are so hard to get going
 
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—George Bush - Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

Too bad old sayings from Texas aren't always true
 
"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."—George Bush - South Bend, Ind., Sept. 5, 2002

Weapons like incomprehensible speech patterns and bad economic ideologies!
 
"There's no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide."—George Bush Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

From George
 
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving. I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
William J. Clinton
 
The 22nd Amendment should probably be modified to say two consecutive terms instead of two terms for a lifetime.
William J. Clinton
 
"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." - George Bush
 
"Last year, the vice president launched a new effort to help make communities more liberal."

—Bill Clinton, during his 2000 State of the Union Speech. He meant to say "more livable," and then made the same slip-up in a subsequent sentence, drawing uproarious laughter from Republicans
 
"I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years." –Bill Clinton
 
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