G-Rell's Daily FII

G-RELL

FULLY DIPPED LS
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Figured I couldn't hurt to have a little fun around here... So here's my daily Funny, Interesting, Informative Thread. Feel free to add what you like! (SFW please, use the Gold member area for all the rest :p )...

Here's a few to get us going...Enjoy!

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This is probably not going to end the way you think, so stay with it....

- - -

A man is at home alone watching the football game when his wife gets home. She is looking especially nice, and there's a look about her that catches his eye. Besides: half-time had just started, so he muted the TV and gave her his full attention.

"Darling," she says, have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

Not sure if there's some sort of joke -- or maybe some seduction -- starting, the man plays along. "Well, no," he says.

She gives him a sexy seductive little smile, unbuttons the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reaches down into the cleavage created by a sexy, lacy, silky push-up bra, and pulls out a crumpled twenty dollar note.

He takes the crumpled bill and looks up to see what's next.

"Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?" she asks.

"No, I can't say that I have," he replies, playing along and warming to this little game.

She gives him another sexy, secretive, knowing little smile, slowly pulls up her tight little skirt higher and higher, and seductively reaches into her tight, sheer panties, and pulls out a crumpled fifty dollar note.

He takes the crumpled bill and is really looking forward to the next step is this fun little game.

"Now darling," she says, "have you ever seen 50 thousand dollars all crumpled up?"

"I sure haven't!" he says, turning off the TV.

"Well," she says, "have a look in the garage...."
 
I tried the right foot/right hand thing. My right foot continued making clockwise circles when I started making the counterclockwise circles with my hand. My wife tried it, and her right foot started going counterclockwise as soon as her right hand started turning.
 
The force is strong with you my friend... Im not sure my wife could do both at the same time anyways!
 
Well since he ruined it, on a more serious note... anyone sign up for Movember? Women organize walks for breast cancer, men grow facial hair for testicular cancer. Sign up... it's important to fight the good fight against testicular cancer. Grow out your beards/mustaches. Maybe we can post some sweet beard pics or before/after pics (no homo). http://www.movember.com

Last year I was not permitted on planes at about the three week mark... Hopefully the same doesn't happen this year as I'm flying to see the niners in three weeks!
 
literal Map not funny.

Is it because of the aids thing? Or the Mexico thing?

Well since he ruined it, on a more serious note... anyone sign up for Movember? Women organize walks for breast cancer, men grow facial hair for testicular cancer. Sign up... it's important to fight the good fight against testicular cancer. Grow out your beards/mustaches. Maybe we can post some sweet beard pics or before/after pics (no homo). http://www.movember.com

Last year I was not permitted on planes at about the three week mark... Hopefully the same doesn't happen this year as I'm flying to see the niners in three weeks!

I don't sign up, I just don't shave, and explain to people why I'm doing it. Still raises awareness.

I'm thinking of growing a magnificent handlebar mustache this month... like a sir. :D
 
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Freeze coffee in an ice cube tray, then put them in a glass with bailey's and vanilla vodka.
 
Before it's too late G-Rell, change this thread to "G-Rell's EMA & DAR" :)

The one with the tongs gets me every time.
 
Some funny stuff in here!


From the anything goes section......

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reeva, What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.
 
Funny background on the NOAA sattelite. The lab has two bays. The NOAA dudes were done for the day and headed home. The guys from the other bay (I forget what bird was there) needed to rotate their bird. Only thing is they didn't have the bolts to attach it to the base. Someone thought "Hey, the NOAA guys already mounted theirs, we can borrow the bolts for a day!". So they take out the bolts, mount theirs, rotate it, and go drinking.
In the morning the NOAA team gets in and needs to rotate theirs. They think "We bolted it down yesterday, should be good to go", hit the button, aaaand.

"Wat?"
 

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