Turn the key, everything dies...?

Science Abuse

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I've got a mindfreak going on with my 97 LSC.

It spends a lot of time sitting, sometimes weeks at a time. The past couple of drives have gone like this:

-Start car. Take a 5min "dust off" drive around the neighborhood. Park it.
-Start car 10-15min later, take it on the joyride I intended. 20-30 min, WOT a couple times, fun fun, engine gets up to temp. Park it.
-Try to start car less than 5 min later, and:
--- Dome lights come on as normal when I enter
--- Dash lights and dinging come on as normal when I click the key over to accessory.
--- When I try to start, a loud click comes from the engine bay and *everything* dies, and stays dead. Key in/out/in/out nothing, a lifeless car.

That battery has 12.5v, but electricity isn't getting from there to anywhere else.

The first time it happened, I was at the grocery store. I came back 4hr later to jump it... but didn't need to. Started right up.
Happened yesterday in my driveway, so I could experiment a little bit, none of this worked:
- knocked on the starter with a hammer
- shaking the car and slamming the doors (loose-wire theory)
- Pulling various fuses (reboot EEC theory)

I would notice that after a few minutes (I'll put a stop watch on it next time), the car would wake back up: The dome lights and everything would come back to life, and everything up to putting the key into accessory would be normal.... but, try to start, and there's a Click from the engine and everything goes dark again.

Wild-card: After waiting for the car to "wake up", I entered the car from the passenger side, stuck the key in, and it started right up.

Special note; the aint-theft light has been blinking since I've owned it, close to 5 years.

Anybody have any ideas on what's broken?
Thanks in advance
 

Science Abuse

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New battery, new'ish terminals. Hooking the jumper cables directly to the wires (bypassing the terminals) had no effect. Also did a cursory tug and shake on the battery wire bundle, no effect.
 

joegr

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Check the other ends of the battery cables, and the ground strap to the block.
 

thebigguy1

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If EVERYTHING is going off when you turn the key, my guess is that it is definitely the battery cables. Change BOTH of them out completely, and then see how it goes. Good luck!
 

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