UPDATE: It was a bad MAF sensor and we got it running again.
Guy on facebook told me his did the EXACT same thing and turned out to be an MAF sensor. So I figured his story similar enough to be worth a shot to change it. We changed it, jump started the car, and it was entirely fine and runs better than it did leading up to the breakdown
If something is stuff on the wire, it has no way to know that it is not working. It just looks like there is little to no air going by it.You had a bad MAF and it did not set any codes??