Bored and at work leavin at 4:30Estern time

Isurf

Isurf

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After 15 years of marriage, Kate leaves her husband Danny. Danny lost everything to his X wife, so thinking he’s going insane he takes a little walk through the forest. As he was walking his foot hits a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, “I'll give u 3 wishes, BUT everything you get your wife gets two times as much.

Danny wishes for a car and his wife got two times as many cars. Then he wished for a house and his wife got two houses. Then Danny asked the genie to choke him half two death.:D
 
A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another coke.
Finally, the man behind her says “ hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?”
She says, “F off! Can’t you see I’m winning?”
 
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?


Marry her.
 
lmfao lmfao thats great lol

So a blond was speeding down the highway. All of a sudden she gets pulled over (obviously because she was speeding.)

The cop who pulled her over was also a blond (uh-oh)... The cop says "Ma'am I need to see your driver’s license ID."

The driver was confused, being blond and all.

So, the cop decides to remind her what an ID is. "Ma'am it’s a rectangular thing with your picture on it"

The blond still has no idea, but looks for it anyways. So funny them blonds. She pulls out a rectangular mirror and hands it to the cop.

The blonde cop says to the blond driver, "Oh, sorry ma'am if I had known YOU were a cop too, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
 
"Eve's first period"


Adam and Eve are in the garden of Eden, both off doing there own thing. While picking flowers down by the lake, Eve notices she has blood running down her leg. She wonders why, because she's not hurt or anything.

Just then, she hears Adam coming down the trail. She suddenly feels very embarrassed at the situation, and runs out waist deep in the lake.

"There you are!" says Adam. "I've been looking all over for you. I'm bored, let's go do something!"

"I'm just fine right here," says Eve. "And I'm going to stay right here."

"Come on, Eve..." Adam says. "We'll have fun, I promise."

So Eve comes out of the lake. Adam of course notices the blood, and asks Eve about it. She becomes embarrassed again, and runs back into the lake. This time she won't come out, no matter how much Adam pleads.

So Adam goes to start walking through the garden of eden, and starts talking to God.

"God, I have a problem," says Adam.

"Okay, what's up?" asks God.

"Something's wrong with Eve. She's got this blood running down her leg, she's out in the lake, and won't come out, no matter how hard I try."

"F*ck," says God. "We're never gonna get the smell out of the fish."
 
pektel said:
"eve's first period"


adam and eve are in the garden of eden, both off doing there own thing. While picking flowers down by the lake, eve notices she has blood running down her leg. She wonders why, because she's not hurt or anything.

Just then, she hears adam coming down the trail. She suddenly feels very embarrassed at the situation, and runs out waist deep in the lake.

"there you are!" says adam. "i've been looking all over for you. I'm bored, let's go do something!"

"i'm just fine right here," says eve. "and i'm going to stay right here."

"come on, eve..." adam says. "we'll have fun, i promise."

so eve comes out of the lake. Adam of course notices the blood, and asks eve about it. She becomes embarrassed again, and runs back into the lake. This time she won't come out, no matter how much adam pleads.

So adam goes to start walking through the garden of eden, and starts talking to god.

"god, i have a problem," says adam.

"okay, what's up?" asks god.

"something's wrong with eve. She's got this blood running down her leg, she's out in the lake, and won't come out, no matter how hard i try."

"f*ck," says god. "we're never gonna get the smell out of the fish."
Click to expand...


lmaol!!!!!
 
15 more F*kin mins lol days comin to an end thank god lol
 
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasnt done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around she selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in. To her disappointment though theres nothing but static on the screen. So she calls the video store.

"I just rented an adult movie from you but theres nothing but static on the tape"

'sorry about that' replied the clerk 'we've had problems with some tapes. wich title did you rent'

the blonde replies "its called, head cleaner"
 
214rod said:
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasnt done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around she selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in. To her disappointment though theres nothing but static on the screen. So she calls the video store.

"I just rented an adult movie from you but theres nothing but static on the tape"

'sorry about that' replied the clerk 'we've had problems with some tapes. wich title did you rent'

the blonde replies "its called, head cleaner"
Click to expand...

lmfao lmfao lmfao thats great lol that made my work day
 
An old man walks into a crowded doctors office. As he approached the front desk, the receptionist asked,
'yes sir, may we help you'

the old man says "theirs something wrong with my penis"

the receptionist became upset & said 'you shouldnt come in a crowded office with women & kids around and say things like that'

"why not! you asked what was wrong & i told you" says the old man

'because! youve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.' replied the receptionist

'you should have said their was something wrong with your ear & then told the doctor in private what was wrong'

then the old man walked out & came back in to the receptionist.

then she nicely said 'yes, sir?'

the old man said "theirs something wrong with my ear"

'what is wrong' said the lady.

"i cant freaking piss out of it!" replied the man
 
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