New Rules

1wykdmk8

LvC Dues Collector
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Location
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We always hear "The Rules" from the feminine side.
Ok - well now hear the guys' side - These are our rules!
Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
1 Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present yet again!
1 Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1 Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
1 Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 Crying is blackmail.
1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say
it!
1 We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1 Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd
be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your dress?
1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1 Check your oil! Please.
1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1 If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1 Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
-- not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1 The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
or example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.
1 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1 We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1 I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
 
True so True. I think women need to read this. I have a feeling if they did it would be worse for men then it might already be :p :Beer
 

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