The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name, sailor?" "John," the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief' Do I make myself clear?" "Aye, Aye, Chief!" "Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?" The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief." "Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."