Frogman
February 5th, 2011, 07:04 PM
This... has to be in the top 10 off the wall questions I've been asked by a stranger in my life.
Earlier today, I went to a local Bath and Body Works store to do some shopping. Why? Because I like their products.
Anyway, I walked in, picked out the shaving cream I like, then decided on some new candles. So, I'm standing by the candle display, sniffing all the nice candle scents when I hear some giggling behind me. I knew the source of the giggling and chose to ignore them. They were a tall ~5'11" to 6' blonde and a shorter, ~5'6" brunette.
Now, I passively noticed the two when they came into the store a few minutes earlier, but once I figured they weren't going to rob the place or blow it up, I put them out of my immediate attention. They, in turn, stared at me as they walked in and started conferring as only women can do in public.
I picked out two candles for my candle warmer, and proceeded to walk towards the soap section... and, there's that damned giggling and whispering again... from the two chicks. What they didn't notice was the big parabolic mirror in one corner where I was keeping an eye on them after the first giggle fit. Oh, they were giggling at me, alright. Looking at me and giggling.... WTF...
So, I meandered towards them and when I got close enough, I smiled and said "Good morning", to which they said "Hi". I looked at the blonde, then at the brunette, then back at the blonde and said "I couldn't help but notice you pointing towards me and giggling" as I pointed to the parabolic mirror "and I was curious what you found so amusing. Do I have a rip in my jeans? Are my undies showing?". They both looked at me with a shocked look when they realized they'd been busted. I continued "I'm merely curious. After all, I wouldn't want to walk around with a jean tear in my ass region".
The blonde said "I'm sorry. We weren't laughing at you, it's just that you don't see many guys in a store like this. My friend Beth, I'm Andrea by the way, were curious about something. She thinks you are, I don't think so".
"Uhhh.. she thinks I am and you don't. Ok. That clears things up. Wait... think what?" I asked, in my patented goofy voice. That got a chuckle out of them.
"We don't want to offend you".
"You couldn't offend me if you tried. So spill it, sister".
"Ok. Are you gay or straight?"
"Huh?" I didn't see that one coming from 3 blocks away... much as I should have.
"As I said," looking at me with a little concern in her eyes, but determined to keep going, "most straight guys wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this. But you don't look gay. She thinks you are".
Now, I was slightly awed at the brass balls on the blonde. I really was.
I chuckled and said "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. As a lesbian who loves women, I guess I'd be considered gay. But, since I'm in a man's body, I suppose that would make me straight. I also have no shame and I like Bath and body works products. As such, here I am shopping for them".
They laughed made small talk about the candles I was carrying, they the brunette gives me a buy one get one free coupon. I thanked her, bid them a nice day and went back to the candles to pick up two more candles since I now possessed a coupon.
They paid, said goodbye as they walked by and left... both stealing looks at me as they exited the store.
I go to the cash register where the cashier is smiling. She says "Lesbian trapped in a man's body. That was funny". As I looked at her with my typical confused look, she laughed and said "I heard what you said to them".
"Aha..."... I had nothing.
"They left you a number" she says, as she hands me a piece of paper with a phone number written on it.
"Oh? Which one?"
"I promised I wouldn't tell you which one wrote it".
I tried to charm her... I tried to compliment her... I offered her a nice crisp 20 dollar bill for this information. But, she wouldn't budge.
So, now I have a phone number, but I don't know which one left it for me. Will I call it? No. Those two looked like they were out of my price range... aka. High Maintenance. I already have high maintenance things in my life, don't need more.
So yeah... "Are you gay or straight?" has to be the best out of the blue question I've been asked by someone I don't know in a long time.
Earlier today, I went to a local Bath and Body Works store to do some shopping. Why? Because I like their products.
Anyway, I walked in, picked out the shaving cream I like, then decided on some new candles. So, I'm standing by the candle display, sniffing all the nice candle scents when I hear some giggling behind me. I knew the source of the giggling and chose to ignore them. They were a tall ~5'11" to 6' blonde and a shorter, ~5'6" brunette.
Now, I passively noticed the two when they came into the store a few minutes earlier, but once I figured they weren't going to rob the place or blow it up, I put them out of my immediate attention. They, in turn, stared at me as they walked in and started conferring as only women can do in public.
I picked out two candles for my candle warmer, and proceeded to walk towards the soap section... and, there's that damned giggling and whispering again... from the two chicks. What they didn't notice was the big parabolic mirror in one corner where I was keeping an eye on them after the first giggle fit. Oh, they were giggling at me, alright. Looking at me and giggling.... WTF...
So, I meandered towards them and when I got close enough, I smiled and said "Good morning", to which they said "Hi". I looked at the blonde, then at the brunette, then back at the blonde and said "I couldn't help but notice you pointing towards me and giggling" as I pointed to the parabolic mirror "and I was curious what you found so amusing. Do I have a rip in my jeans? Are my undies showing?". They both looked at me with a shocked look when they realized they'd been busted. I continued "I'm merely curious. After all, I wouldn't want to walk around with a jean tear in my ass region".
The blonde said "I'm sorry. We weren't laughing at you, it's just that you don't see many guys in a store like this. My friend Beth, I'm Andrea by the way, were curious about something. She thinks you are, I don't think so".
"Uhhh.. she thinks I am and you don't. Ok. That clears things up. Wait... think what?" I asked, in my patented goofy voice. That got a chuckle out of them.
"We don't want to offend you".
"You couldn't offend me if you tried. So spill it, sister".
"Ok. Are you gay or straight?"
"Huh?" I didn't see that one coming from 3 blocks away... much as I should have.
"As I said," looking at me with a little concern in her eyes, but determined to keep going, "most straight guys wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this. But you don't look gay. She thinks you are".
Now, I was slightly awed at the brass balls on the blonde. I really was.
I chuckled and said "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. As a lesbian who loves women, I guess I'd be considered gay. But, since I'm in a man's body, I suppose that would make me straight. I also have no shame and I like Bath and body works products. As such, here I am shopping for them".
They laughed made small talk about the candles I was carrying, they the brunette gives me a buy one get one free coupon. I thanked her, bid them a nice day and went back to the candles to pick up two more candles since I now possessed a coupon.
They paid, said goodbye as they walked by and left... both stealing looks at me as they exited the store.
I go to the cash register where the cashier is smiling. She says "Lesbian trapped in a man's body. That was funny". As I looked at her with my typical confused look, she laughed and said "I heard what you said to them".
"Aha..."... I had nothing.
"They left you a number" she says, as she hands me a piece of paper with a phone number written on it.
"Oh? Which one?"
"I promised I wouldn't tell you which one wrote it".
I tried to charm her... I tried to compliment her... I offered her a nice crisp 20 dollar bill for this information. But, she wouldn't budge.
So, now I have a phone number, but I don't know which one left it for me. Will I call it? No. Those two looked like they were out of my price range... aka. High Maintenance. I already have high maintenance things in my life, don't need more.
So yeah... "Are you gay or straight?" has to be the best out of the blue question I've been asked by someone I don't know in a long time.