So my ABS light has been on forever but I haven't had a chance to take it to a dealer based on my work schedule and their work schedule. Anyway, so Wednesday morning I go out to my car and my my passengers side rear tire is flat. I quickly check it (as best i can in the dark - 6 am) for a nail or screw and can't find anything. Luckily I can just inflate cuz I have a good compressor in the garage. No biggie. However, on my way to work my "service emergency brake" light comes on. I get to work and after my 8 hours, I drive it home and my check engine light comes on. So now just about every light on my dash is showing an error. The next morning I come out to go to work (I plan on taking the car to the dealer after work) and try to unlock the car. It unlocks using the key fob, but then I open the door and the alarm goes off anyway. Also, only the passenger's side door unlocks. Anyway, I go to start it up and it cranks 2-3 times longer than it normally does before it starts. After work, I realize the key fob doesn't unlock the car anymore, the keypad on the door doesn't unlock it, and if I unlock it using the key, the alarm always goes off no matter what. Fun few days - just needed to b*tch a little cuz none of my friends give two craps about cars.

You need a new battery (classic symptoms), and you should have your alternator checked. That may resolve all of your other issues.

Yeah, these cars go bezerk when the battery is low!

Yep. 100% these cars go wacky without the correct voltage.

Thanks for the info guys. I got the tire fixed at an NTB and figured I'd have em run a diagnostic test (it was free cuz I know a guy that works there) and it showed the code "P1633." According to them, although it shows the code, it basically tells them to go away and take it to a dealer. The guy told me that it says "Refer to Lincoln Repair Manual," which they obviously don't have. Any info on the code?

Thanks for the info guys. I got the tire fixed at an NTB and figured I'd have em run a diagnostic test (it was free cuz I know a guy that works there) and it showed the code "P1633." According to them, although it shows the code, it basically tells them to go away and take it to a dealer. The guy told me that it says "Refer to Lincoln Repair Manual," which they obviously don't have. Any info on the code?

According to this site (http://www.obdii.com/codes.asp) it is a low voltage issue. Sounds like a battery to me!

Awesomeness. I was worried it was something more serious.

Thanks everybody!

So i made another post about a battery. Basically I had an optima red top laying around and threw it in. There was no difference - hard start, check engine light on: code p1633. I put the old battery back in and took it to autozone to get it tested. They tested the battery and the alternator. Both showed good. However, in the little clear eye on the top of the battery, I can see a red ball, which according to the autozone guy, means that it might be bad...although his reader showed that it is working fine. At this point I'm lost so it looks like it's going to the dealership tomorrow.

So i made another post about a battery. Basically I had an optima red top laying around and threw it in. There was no difference - hard start, check engine light on: code p1633. I put the old battery back in and took it to autozone to get it tested. They tested the battery and the alternator. Both showed good. However, in the little clear eye on the top of the battery, I can see a red ball, which according to the autozone guy, means that it might be bad...although his reader showed that it is working fine. At this point I'm lost so it looks like it's going to the dealership tomorrow.

Yes, the red eye means the battery is bad. It's about $115 or so at the dealer.

You need a new battery (classic symptoms), and you should have your alternator checked. That may resolve all of your other issues.

Not the flat tire.

Yes, the red eye means the battery is bad. It's about $115 or so at the dealer.

Actually it means that cell is dead. The LS is so electrically dependent that a dead cell will still cause problems. I would recommend a new battery....YMMV

I took it to the dealer and they said I need a new processor...I have no idea what it does other than that it is obviously part of the electrical/computer system. It is covered under Ford's 80k, 8 year warranty (eventhough my factory warranty has expired) so it will cost me nothing :D !

congratulations!

I took it to the dealer and they said I need a new processor...I have no idea what it does other than that it is obviously part of the electrical/computer system. It is covered under Ford's 80k, 8 year warranty (eventhough my factory warranty has expired) so it will cost me nothing :D !

That would be the computer that runs the engine and the transmission. It also tells the voltage regulator in the alternator what voltage to regulate to.

It's not Ford's 8/80K warranty, it is a federal emissions warranty requirement that applies to all cars. The engine computer is one of the covered components, but only under certain circumstances. Clearly, you hit one or more of those circumstances, so good for you.

I'd still watch that battery. Its been stressed now, and if you have a 2003 or 2004, it is probably about due for a battery anyway.