I have a trans go shift kit it seems like 2nd or 3rd takes a while to shift like 4-5000 rpm at times is this to high

A transnogo kit...

At what throttle level are you talking here, wot, or light throttle. If it is at wot you are talking about you're shifting early, if its light throttle then we have issues.

Medium heavy to WOT

Medium heavy to WOT and when I first drive it after its been sitting a while

I think you have an issue... My car bone stock shift at almost 6000 rpms....

I'd be mildly concerned having the transgo shift kit, I have heard from a number of people that they don't do go things for you trans.

I have a transgo in my 96 and love it-mine will bark a long second, jerking it sideways on bone dry road, and i can easily get a healthy chirp in third-all around 5800-6000 rpm at WOT-if I am NOT heavily on it but not driving like grandpa, 5000 sounds normal, shifts are very crisp too at any throttle.

If you are going to get on it on a fairly regular basis, I suggest you have a decent sized cooler, but that sounds pretty normal to me.

I also note that you said this happens when the trans seems to be cold-higher line pressure might be the reason it doesn't seem right, what is it like warmed up?

it shifts perfect when she's nice and warm. i think i just need to get used to these new shifting points espically in city driving. but mine dosen't chirp do you get on it when you do this

The transmission shift points in our cars are controlled by the PCM. The Jmod and shift kits you buy firm up shifts and make them quicker/harder etc, but don't change where they happen fwiw...

For the Transgo kit thats pretty normal depending on the level of performance installed. I personally would not install a Transgo kit, but do to the design of the kit, it raises fluid volumes via increasing pressure bleed off in the valve body that supply's fluid to to accumulator circuit via drilling into the wall of the valve body. The cooler the fluid the more pressure and flow allowing the trans to shift a little earlier when cold.
The stock shift point is 5500RPM that can drop by 500RPM when cold.
The tire breaking shift is produced via spring rates in the 1 to second accumulator, so if you installed a lighter performance level you probably wont get a tire breaking shift.
If you installed the Max setting then you have an issue, at that level you should break the tires loose on a first to second shift.

I had my trans guy put it in I think it was the "shift improver" kit they said they didn't do any thing with the springs