THE YEAR'S BEST
[actual]
HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]


Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]


Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]


Is There a Ring of Debris
around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]


Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]


Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]


Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]


War Dims Hope
for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]


Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]


Enfield (London) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]


Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]


Man Struck By Lightning
Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]


New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]


Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make
Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken?]


Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]


Hospitals are Sued
by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]


And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

:bowrofl:

Well worth reading.

Lol!

:wrench :waving: :slam

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

Rofl