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Colonoscopies

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Posted by: mespock

Colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where
no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally
married."

6 "Any sign of the ! trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that
my head is not up there."

Posted by: pepperman