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Pages: 1

Headlines of 2004

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Posted by: mespock

THE YEAR'S BEST
[actual]
HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris
around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope
for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning
Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make
Nutritious Snacks
[Tastes like chicken?]

Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued
by Seven Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Posted by: MonsterMark

Posted by: codewize

Well worth reading.

Posted by: Conti94

Lol!

Posted by: 1wykdmk8

Posted by: Randeaux

Posted by: pepperman

Rofl