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Pages: 1

Shower Habits

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Posted by: hintsclue

I know this is old, but it's still funny!

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

TAKE OFF CLOTHING AND PLACE IT IN SECTIONED LAUNDRY HAMPER ACCORDING TO
LIGHTS AND DARKS. WALK TO BATHROOM WEARING LONG DRESSING GOWN. IF YOU SEE
HUSBAND ALONG THE WAY, COVER UP ANY EXPOSED AREAS. LOOK AT YOUR WOMANLY
PHYSIQUE IN THE MIRROR - MAKE MENTAL NOTE TO DO MORE SIT UPS/LEG LIFTS, ETC.
GET IN THE SHOWER. USE FACE CLOTH, ARM CLOTH, LEG CLOTH, LONG LOOFAH, WIDE
LOOFAH, AND PUMICE STONE. WASH YOUR HAIR ONCE WITH CUCUMBER AND SAGE
SHAMPOO WITH 43 ADDED VITAMINS. WASH YOUR HAIR AGAIN TO MAKE SURE ITS
CLEAN. CONDITION YOUR HAIR WITH GRAPEFRUIT MINT CONDITIONER. WASH YOUR
FACE WITH CRUSHED APRICOT FACIAL SCRUB FOR 10 MINUTES UNTIL RED. WASH
ENTIRE REST OF BODY WITH GINGER NUT AND JAFFA CAKE BODY WASH. RINSE
CONDITION OFF HAIR. SHAVE ARMPITS AND LEGS. TURN OFF SHOWER. SQUEEGEE OFF
ALL WET SURFACE IN SHOWER. SPRAY MOLD SPOTS WITH TILEX. GET OUT OF SHOWER.
DRY WITH TOWEL THE SIZE OF SMALL COUNTRY. WRAP HAIR IN SUPER ABSORBENT
TOWEL. CHECK ENTIRE BODY FOR ZITS, TWEEZE HAIRS.RETURN TO BEDROOM WEARING
LONG DRESSING GOWN AND TOWEL ON HEAD. IF YOU SEE HUSBAND ALONG THE WAY,
COVER UP ANY EXPOSED AREAS.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

TAKE OFF CLOTHES WHILE SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND LEAVE THEM IN A
PILE. WALK NAKED TO THE BATHROOM. IF YOU SEE WIFE ALONG THE WAY, SHAKE
YOUR WIENER AT HER MAKING THE "WOO WOO" SOUND. LOOK AT YOUR MANLY PHYSIQUE
IN THE MIRROR. ADMIRE THE SIZE OF YOUR WIENER AND SCRATCH YOUR ASS. GET IN
SHOWER. WASH YOUR FACE, WASH YOUR ARMPITS. BLOW YOUR NOSE IN YOUR HANDS
AND LET THE WATER RINSE THEM. FART AND LAUGH AT HOW LOUD IT SOUNDS IN THE
SHOWER. SPEND MAJORITY OF TIME WASHING PRIVATES AND SURROUNDING AREAS. WASH
YOUR BUTT, LEAVING THOSE COARSE BUTT HAIRS ON SOAP. WASH YOUR HAIR. MAKE A
SHAMPOO MOHAWK. PEE. RINSE OFF AND GET OUT OF SHOWER. PARTIALLY DRY OFF.
FAIL TO NOTICE WATER ON FLOOR BECAUSE CURTAIN WAS HANGING OUT OF TUB THE
WHOLE TIME. ADMIRE WIENER SIZE IN MIRROR AGAIN. LEAVE SHOWER CURTAIN OPEN,
WET MAT ON FLOOR, LEAVE LIGHT AND FAN ON. RETURN TO BEDROOM WITH TOWEL
AROUND WAIST. IF YOU PASS WIFE, PULL OFF TOWEL, SHAKE WIENER AT HER AND
MAKE WOO WOO SOUND. THROW WET TOWEL ON BED.

IF THERE IS ANYONE AMONG YOU WHO DIDNT LAUGH AT THE TRUTH BEHIND THIS, THERE
IS SOMETHING SO VERY WRONG WITH YOU.

Posted by: Kbob

Posted by: Joeychgo

Wiener ??

Posted by: hintsclue

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joeychgo

Wiener ??

That was sent to me by my sister-in-law. I guess wiener is a work-safe word. LOL

Posted by: Katshot

That's funny. Had to show it to my wife, she laughed.

Posted by: mespock

I don't get what's funny? Isn't that how to take a shower.

What else matters. Weiner

Posted by: Kbob

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joeychgo

Wiener ??

That's better than tally-whacker.

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