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Frist Declares South Dakotan Senator Dead

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Posted by: 97silverlsc

Frist Declares South Dakotan Senator Dead
http://tomburka.com/archives2/2006_12.php#000978
In what some called a desperate gambit to retain Republican control of the Senate, Majority Leader Bill Frist announced today that he had examined a videotape and pronounced recovering Senator Tim Johnson dead.

"I will remain Majority Leader and the Republicans will continue to hold the Senate," he said in a press conference this morning.

Dr. Frist's diagnosis added another strange chapter onto the surprising developments in the Senate after Senator Johnson suffered an unusual stroke and recieved emergency surgery. Contrary to Sen. Frist's diagnosis, Sen. Johnson is doing well and his family and the rest of the nation wish nothing less than that he make a full and complete recovery.

Sen. Dr. Frist made the diagnosis after viewing videotapes, not of Senator Johnson in his current condition, but of speeches by former House Majority Leader Tom Delay.

A spokeman for Sen. Frist explained that his diagnosis was made in the great Republican tradition of seeing the world as one wants to see it, as opposed to how it actually is. "That's how you effect change in the world, from the force of sheer will," said the spokesman, who then ate a baloney sandwich that he claimed was filet mignon.

Had Frist been correct, the Republican Governor of South Dakota would have been able to appoint a Republican to take Johnson's spot, thus giving the Republicans control of the 50-50 Senate, given Dick Cheney's ability to cast the deciding vote in any tie.

As it is, Democrats were actually relieved by Frist's move. Craig Calendar, a plumber from Montana who gives quotes to newspapers in his spare time, said, "Given the Republicans' track record these past six years, if they say that Johnson is dead, that means that he is, without doubt, very much alive and doing very, very well."

We wish Senator Johnson a speedy recovery and a long and satisfying life.

Posted by: MAC1

If Frist made reference to wanting Senator Johnson to die then he needs psychological help. Then again, I believe more than one democrat made reference to wanting to see President Bush's assassinated. Obviously there are sickos in both parties'.

Posted by: fossten

There are no reputable sources carrying this "story." Either this is Phil's version of scrappleface or this is yet another bogus story. Why would I be surprised, though, since Phil regularly gets his hard news from www.leftwingpussy.org.

Remember the "indictment" of Karl Rove!!!

Posted by: Calabrio

Furthermore, that story does have Frist "hoping he died."

Frist is not a psychopath, but his is an accomplished and respected surgeon in the field of organ transplant.

Second, he will not "remain the majority leader" regardless what happens, he didn't run for re-election.

And here is the horrible reality. I don't expect Senator Johnson to recover fully and I think the battle is going to be ugly. This victim will be dehumanized into a pawn.

I've witnessed something similar to what has happened to this senator in my life. The likelihood that this man is going to hop up in a few days with full capacity is almost nil.

NO ONE wanted the split in the senate to be decided by a terrible health problem striking, from what I've heard, is a good man- regardless his party. This is a terrible thing. I sincerely hope that he does recover fully. But as the weeks go on, we're going to need to recognize the reality here.

"Showing improvement" means something entirely different for the family than it does when referencing the senate politics.

Posted by: Calabrio

I figure it's just a matter of time before this issue hits the press again.

As recently as New Years, the news being released was confirming my own expectations regarding the unfortunate condition of the Senator. Has anyone heard anything positive?

By the way "responding to voices" or "no longer being sedated" are positive, but they aren't indicative of a man who will be able to ever serve in public office again.

Unfortunately, I've witnessed a similar thing happen recently. She "recovered"- but never regaining full mental ability. Miracles can happen though.

With that said, this could result in a battle in the senate and a possible 50/50 split. Any opinions on this?

Posted by: fossten

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calabrio

I figure it's just a matter of time before this issue hits the press again.

As recently as New Years, the news being released was confirming my own expectations regarding the unfortunate condition of the Senator. Has anyone heard anything positive?

By the way "responding to voices" or "no longer being sedated" are positive, but they aren't indicative of a man who will be able to ever serve in public office again.

Unfortunately, I've witnessed a similar thing happen recently. She "recovered"- but never regaining full mental ability. Miracles can happen though.

With that said, this could result in a battle in the senate and a possible 50/50 split. Any opinions on this?

Assuming we end up with a tie in the Senate, I wonder if Katie Couric will give credence to the Joy Behar conspiracy theory that the Republicans did it. Wouldn't put it past her.