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8 Sure Fire ways to tell if you are Gay

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Posted by: Stack

1) If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2) If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog ... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3) If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any
such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-cue ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or

. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a

.

4) If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5) If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high
hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6) If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are

gadocious.

7) If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his ***** in the passenger seat.

8) If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to

s when they flame out too quickly.

Posted by: Jibit

what about guys with with their belly-buttons pierced!

Posted by: MsM8tress

Jibit...Hottie, don't offer up more..K babe..scarrey you thought of that one..

Totally on target STACK!

MsM8

Posted by: mespock

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jibit

what about guys with with their belly-buttons pierced!

What you have your belly-button pierced!

Posted by: Jibit

Quote:

Originally Posted by mespock

What you have your belly-button pierced!

You should know me better Rich! Actually my roommate is/was dating a guy with a belly-button piercing and I keep telling her that he is gay!

Posted by: Black87LSC

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stack

2) If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog ... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

I gotta disagree there, just because you have a cat doenst mean your gay. I've always had a cat since I was little, and I like them a lot more than dogs because they dont smell like a foot. BUT, if you talk to your cat like that, you ARE A FLAAAAAMING HOMO!!! LOL

Posted by: ekenkade

i agree, i have 3 dogs, a doberman, a rottwiler and a chawawa.
if you can spell the word chawawa correctly, you are gay.
those dogs would look at me like i's crazy to talk to them like that.

Posted by: rocket5979

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jibit

You should know me better Rich! Actually my roommate is/was dating a guy with a belly-button piercing and I keep telling her that he is gay!

Holy jeeesus! What man in their right mind would do that?!?!?!? That is total gayness! I never even heard of a guy doing that!!! THATS how gay it is! lol. Wow. It is sooooo bad that I dont even think gay guys do that!

Ok, maybe they do, they are pretty fruity.

Anyone watch Jay Leno the other night? What the hell is up with his intern dude? That has to be the gayest man I have ever seen...

Posted by: my95mark8

Pierced belly buttons are SEXY...on WOMEN only...kinda freaky on a guy.

Posted by: pepperman

Quote:

Originally Posted by my95mark8

Pierced belly buttons are SEXY...on WOMEN only.

On Women ONLY!!!!!!!!

Posted by: JC1994

I don't have any piercings. just 4 tattoos 2 on each arm.

Posted by: pepperman

I have 1 tattoo, plan on getting 2 more!!

Posted by: JC1994

Cool!!! I really like mine, and when your brother in law is one of the best in town it makes it a little more affordable!

Posted by: pepperman

The only thing is the price the one i want is like 250.00, my first tattoo was free!!!

Posted by: ekenkade

from who?

Posted by: pepperman

A fried of mine does tattoos!!!!

Posted by: JC1994

I've got about 600.00-700.00 in mine.

Posted by: ekenkade

oh, i had a friend in boston got his for free. his killed him, hepotitis. dirty needle in a back alley of boston.

Posted by: pepperman

Another one i like is 450.00, but i will get that one this spring!!!

Posted by: JC1994

Quote:

Originally Posted by ekenkade

oh, i had a friend in boston got his for free. his killed him, hepotitis. dirty needle in a back alley of boston.

That sucks... no dirty needles here, I watched him open the new needles up.
all professionaly done every thing is sterile. otherwise I would have passed.

Posted by: ekenkade

my only one cost me 300.00 had it done in atlanta 32 years ago
you can't see it in that pic, but it's on my left arm
i tried to get my money back by sayin'
"but i don't know anybody named Ruby!!!!!"
he told me to go screw a light pole.

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